Ian Hutton Column

In my constant quest for light entertainment, I blundered into a CIA website which they’ve cunningly titled, The World Factbook. There they tell us, and I have no reason to disbelieve them, that there is a country, or more strictly speaking a British territory, whose total population consists of a staggering 45 individuals.

Never mind, they’ve got their own flag and a ten-member Governing Council, five of whom are elected and one of whom is appointed by the elected members. Viva democracy.

What’s this though? In October 2004, over a quarter of the population found itself under arrest. This put the economy into a bit of a spin. The transfer of goods to and from boats was disrupted and the two major sources of revenue were affected, these being the sale of postage stamps to collectors and that of handicrafts to passing ships.

Now, in case you’re thinking of immigrating and you don’t mind the CIA keeping a bit of an eye on you, what we have here is the Pitcairn Islands, situated somewhere between Peru and New Zealand.

Then, if you go a little up the CIA’s population table, you come to a fully independent state, Vatican City, which has a grand total of 932 citizen-souls. But don’t let this fool you. According to reliable sources, its reach is global. This brings me to my point.

There is a category of people who span the planet and whose numbers damn near equal the population of the United States, which stands at a startling 300 million. To put that into perspective, and before I tell you who I’m talking about, digest this: The total population of Portugal is only around the 10.5 million mark. Sweden comes in behind at just a smorgasbord bash above 9 million. South Africa with its 49 million makes Denmark with only 5.4 million look like an undernourished forest gnome.

So, who are these 284 million people who span the globe and among whom I include myself? The Blind. That’s who.

And so it is where we begin our journey into the Country of the Blind…

And as we surf steadily towards its shore, the dim outline of a fact sheet looms into earshot.

“WHO”, it says. But who is WHO? Ah yes, the World Health Organisation.

But we’re on the beach now. We stoop and, with our fingers, read the words that are set before us in pebbles of Braille.

“You who can read this,” it says. “Welcome to Ophthalmia.”

A voice speaks. It is the voice of WHO.

“My children,” it enjoins. “I call upon you to spread these words throughout the world. Of our 284 million visually impaired citizens, 39 million are pitch blind and 245 million float, unrecognised and misunderstood, in the murky ether of low vision. Tell them also that 90% of the people of Ophthalmia were born in the developing places of this planet. And let it be known that 80% of blind and low vision people should not even be living here. These are the ones whose eye conditions are preventable or curable. But until the world understands such things, Ophthalmia, the Country of the Blind, needs a king. Go forth then and find us the one-eyed man who will be that king.”

And so it was that I spread my net and began trolling through cyberspace for a one-eyed worthy who’d do the trick. To my amazement, I scooped four in one go.

The first to plop into earshot was Rex Harrison, latterly Sir Rex, the renowned British theatre and film actor. He would have been good at rallies and ceremonies. Otherwise, I don’t think he’d be able to pull off the part because, he died in 1990. The next catch was Sammy Davis Jr, all-round entertainer. He’d have been a fun king but he too died in 1990. Then there’s James Thurber, humorist and cartoonist who, among other things, worked for the New Yorker. I would have loved him as king but he shipped off in 1961.

Then, I found the one! Ry Cooder, slide guitarist, singer etc. etc. Remember the Buena Vista Social Club documentary and music? But if that’s all you know about him, find out more and you’ll be amazed and enchanted.

Ironically, the score Ry wrote for the film Paris, Texas was based on Blind Willie Johnson's "Dark Was the Night (Cold Was the Ground)," which he described as "The most soulful, transcendent piece in all American music."

And so, as we ponder the Country of the Blind, we take in these words on the subject of blind people from Wikipedia.

“Certain individuals are gifted, and others licentious, but nothing definitive can be said of blind people as a class but that they cannot see well.”
This article features a photo of a smiling man facing tow3ards the right of the camera. The man has long darkish hair and a grey, full beard. He is holding a white cane in his right hand.